Sent: Sun, Mar 26, 2017 at 2:37 PM

Recipients: Daughter, Son, Daughter-in-Law

Email Body:

It might be time to go to the grocery.

I have no eggs.

I have about enough pancake mix for 1/2 pancake – WHAT is that about?

The alternate pancake mix I have requires eggs….see above.

I opted for cereal.  I filled the bowl.  The almond milk I have was ‘best by’ 3/11/17.  Its 3/26/17.

I started coffee.  I read last week that I should NOT use non-dairy creamers due to all the nasty stuff in there. For the record, I had reduced down to 1 container per cup rather than 2 because Kaitlin mentioned before that I should drink it black.

Anyway, I shook up the almond creamer (real stuff); however, the lid wasn’t on right and it went all over me, the fridge and the floor.  The cap is nowhere to be found….probably taken by the gremlins that live under the fridge.  So today is the last day for what’s left of the creamer.

I know what you’re thinking – this has ‘go to the grocery’ written all over it.  However, today is my day OFF.

If I got rid of all the spoiled food in the fridge, there would be nothing there.  Plus, some of the stuff in the freezer has been there for years…at least a few years too many.  I finished the market day broccoli last night – Market Day has been out of business for at least 2 years.

You get the picture.

Sent: Sat, Mar 25, 2017 at 10:56 PM

Recipients: Daughter, Son, Daughter-in-Law

Email Body:

fyi…earlier, I had typed a lengthy email and then, voila!  the whole thing disappeared as I was ready to hit send.  That really pisses me off when that happens.

Anyway, I’m watching Rogue One.

WHY does Ben wear the mask?  It could be to hide that nose of his, but I think its more and I don’t understand.

Vader had to wear the mask because his face was half gone….did we ever know how that happened?

I don’t know how old he is supposed to be; however, he needs some serious therapy.  Those temper tantrums are very childish.

I can’t even imagine how Chewy feels with Han gone.

I know you think I’m dwelling on this.  Don’t get me wrong – its a great movie.  I just don’t see Ben being bad with Leia as his mom and Luke as his trainer.

OK.  I guess we just have to wait for me.

All good questions.

Sent: Mon, Mar 20, 2017 at 7:27 PM

Recipients: Daughter, Son, Daughter-in-Law

Email Body:

So…I just got home and I’m exhausted.  I started flipping through Netflix for something fun – I’m too tired for my normal criminal mystery shows.

Guess what’s on Netflix?

Blazing Saddles.

Enough said.

Anyway…for a good laugh…

You’re welcome.

Sent: Thu, Mar 16, 2017 at 10:32 PM

Recipients: Daughter, Son, Daughter-in-Law

Email Body:

OK.  I just finished watching Star Wars – Force Awakens.  Actually, she’s just spotted the mountain in the water where ‘you-know-who’ is…

Do we think we could have a ‘switched at birth’ scenario?

Maybe she is Lea’s daughter – she wears some funky hairstyles, and the Force is strong with her.

And, I’m trying not to be rude here, but ‘Ben’ (his non-darkside-force name) is one weird looking dude – like….unattractive.  It doesn’t seem that he could be Lea and Han’s son….the genetics don’t really work for me. Lea was a babe and Han was rakishly handsome….tough sell for Ben’s looks.

Then again, they didn’t consult me on casting.

I know we never see Ray’s parents, so there’s that.  However, the Force is really strong with her.

I wonder how long we’ll have to wait to get to the bottom of this.

And…for some reason – the angle or the wind, Luke’s head looks way too big for his body in that first look at him.

I am NOT dissing Star Wars here – just a few things that make me wonder.

Sent: Sun, Mar 26, 2017 at 5:59 PM

Recipients: Daughter, Son, Daughter-in-Law

Email Body:

The other day, I noticed small clumps under Smokey’s chin which were obviously the sign that fleas had once again taken hold.

So, I got some of the sentinal stuff from the laundry room and applied it yesterday.  Last night, I noticed his hair in that area was stiff and had a strong smell.

Not wanting to sleep with that smell, I snuck a wet towel into the bedroom and ambushed him trying to clean the area.  Small success.

Today, I took a more aggressive approach and took the ‘cat wash’ and a wet cloth and cornered him again.

Still only minor success.

I just did my last attempt – only ZUM can handle this.

I had the laundry sink full of soapy water, a wet cloth and towel at the ready.

The first attempt was using the wet cloth and drying, and he seemed to be mildly cooperating, so I decided to really douse him.  From here, its predictable.

The laundry room bath is soaked with hair everywhere.  I’m all wet.  The towels are now in the washer.  The wet cat is nowhere to be found.

Bonus points to the one that accurately predicts the number of bite marks I will get later today…….

I got 4 on my foot for no good reason the other night.

Since I got my new hairstyle, I really haven’t had a ‘bad hair day’ like I had everyday before my new hair cut.  Anyway….if I ever lose my mind and style my hair like Effie Trinket from the Hunger Games, one of you better pull me aside and get me the haircut I need.

I’m putting that out there now as a pre-emptive strike.

No one did that when I was pregnant with Jarrett.  Those pics are atrocious.  I don’t care if curly permed hair was the style.

I can’t afford to be a slave to fashion.

So…you all better promise!